Depressed
by another-vampire
Summary: set during New Moon, Bella got dumped by Edward, and never befriended Jacob, things that never happened did, things that originally where supposed to happen... didn't. let's see what happens when things get screwed up.
1. Chapter 1

Depressed.

It's been months, I've felt so cold, so disconnected, so numb. All I've wanted since _they _left was for them to come back, but deep down I knew that wasn't going to happen.

Charlie and Renee tried to get me to move to Pheonix but I chucked a tantrum and said that if they made me do that I'd kill myself. They pretty much threw away any idea or thought of me leaving forks without my consent from then on. I could tell they where hurt that I would even consider saying anything like that let alone use it against them, but I didn't care I was in too much pain to care about anything right now. The suicide threat, a little drastic maybe? No I didn't think that at all, the love of my life left me, so did his family, my family, they where my life, heck even Rosalie! As I sat in my room on the cold wooden floor leaning against my bed I felt the ripples of heart wrenching pain run from the inside of my heart or what was left of it and through out my body the ripples threatened to pull me apart at any moment, I instantly regretted thinking of _them_.

It was Saturday today, Charlie was out with Billy and Harry tonight, having dinner at the Clearwaters it was Sue's 43rd birthday today. Charlie, Sue, Harry and Billy asked me to come but I refused them politely and told them I had homework to do, which wasn't a lie, but I only had finishing touches to do. I decided that it was time to check my emails, see how Renee and Phil are... where. I hadn't been on my email in such along time.

As I waited for this sorry excuse for technology to start up I went downstairs to make dinner for myself. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I realised that the front door was fully open and that the rainstorm outside was soaking the front room. Cautiously I went to the front door to close it I stepped carefully not wanting to slip and fall on my ass or worse my face, I closed the door and dead bolted it not wanting to go through this again as I turned around my eyes came across something odd, _**wet footprints **_and they weren't mine.


	2. Chapter 2

I followed the into the lounge room but everything was the same, "_well maybe you've finally lost the plot_" said a little voice in the back of my head, "oh shut up!" I threw right back. And now I'm talking to myself? Great! just great! I heated myself up some leftover lasagne, put it on a plate and skewered the middle of it with a fork, I poured myself a white glass of heaven -milk- and made my way back to my bedroom.

As I checked my email account I found that I had **57 messages **more then I've had in my life I thought, I grimaced as I thought of how many messages to Renee I'd have to reply too. I scrolled through my inbox checking who each was from: Renee

Renee : Bella I'm worried about you! Please call me?

Renee : Bella I love you sweetie stay strong.

Renee : How are you?

Jessica : BELLA enough is enough. Get over it! Jeeze..

Renee : I miss you, you should come and visit maybe for a week or two? get out of forks? I'm not trying to push.. i just miss you.

Angela : Bella are you alright? I miss you being my friend...

Angela : Bella (: you should come over sometime yeah?

Jessica : Hey, how are you?

Mike : Heeeey... Bella, your single now aye? we should go see a movie..

Tyler : Hi Bella, how are you? If you ever need a hug I'm here for you :D

Angela : Bella, I'm sorry about you know... I'm here for you, I hope you feel okay soon.

Renee : Bella honey I'm so sorry about the whole situation, honey come and stay with me!

Renee : Bella I am coming to get you from forks, it's not healthy for you baby, I'm getting you out! And you can't goto Charlie...

Followed by junk, junk, junk and more junk. When I reached the bottom I found one from someone I didn't know, curiously I clicked it as the slow outdated machine loaded the message I quickly yet slowly wolfed down my lasagne -jesus christ thats hot! I thought- followed by my glass of heavenly milk to quench the fire as it slid down my throat.

When the message was fully loaded I began to read it:

_Dear Bella, I know I'm the last person you'd want to talk to right now, but our leaving… it was my fault and I'm so, so sorry. You must understand none of us__** wanted **__to leave but…. Edward -_ the hole that I had been trying so hard to forget about wrenched as I read his name- _convinced us that it was the only way you could try to have a normal life and forget about us. If you don't write back I will understand goodbye Bella, I am sorry if the message is an inconvenience to you, my sincerest apologies._

_-Jasper Hale._

After reading this I couldn't believe it Jasper, Jasper Hale has wrote me an email and I wasn't even checking it! Stupid anti-social Bella!, why? why? why would you do this? didn't you think that maybe, just maybe something IMPORTANT might come via your email?

"No" I whispered softly, out of breath from the screaming that my head just did, my eye's started to tear up.

Then faster than I thought possible for me at least I clicked the reply button and wrote back ;

_Dear Jasper, I'm sorry I didn't write back to you for all these months, I haven't been on the computer in a long time. I want you to know I don't blame__ you __for all of you leaving, I hope your all well, god knows I'm not! Tell Alice I say hi and I miss her and I love her._

_I hope you write back, quicker then I did at least…_

_Bye, love Bella._

I didn't want to tell them how much I really missed_ them, _missed _him. _Ouch stupid thought..

Then as soon as I clicked the send button I felt someone breathing on my neck.


	3. Chapter 3

I was frozen in my place, the breath in my neck was cold… VAMPIRE was my only thought. But who? one of the Cullens? Hales? In anticipation and excitement I turned around only to be shocked and horrified by my worst nightmare, it was Victoria, I hadn't seen her since that night last year on the Baseball field.

"Bella!" she sang in a vicious angry way.

"What do you want victoria?" I shrieked at her.

She smiled furiously at me coming closer as I backed up forwards the wall, she sped behind me and put her arm around me leaned into me and whispered in my ear " What you took from me! You took away my true love and now I'm alone so your going to get a fate worse than death! My fate!" I trembled as she said this, as it was all I ever wanted before that future was ripped away from me,

"Edward will be very mad if he finds out you hurt me" I lied

"No Bella, he won't, he left you and now we're alone." she whipped bitterly.

That is when Charlie came home with Harry and Billy! Oh Dear God! Could this day get any worse? She jumped in front of me and pushed me into the wall

"Hmmm… snacks, don't worry Bella I'll let you watch, I want you to feel the heartache of loss, again." she smiled wickedly as she purred.

"No! Don't hurt them let them go Victoria just take what you want from me and leave!" I screamed at her, she seemed surprised and slightly amused.

Charlie hearing me yell came to check on me as did someone else, that's when everything when black as I felt fire surge through me, the source at my neck.

Charlie, Harry and Billy where tied up in chairs in the middle of the lounge room while I was lying on the ground writhing in pain the fire had spread through my body consuming my veins, wrapping them in a frozen fire, it felt much worse then the last time there was venom in my system it hurt ALOT last time but no where near as much as this. I felt the fire withdrawing from my toes and fingertips when it all finally ended without a heartbeat, I was now truly cold. I turned my head to see Charlie, Billy and Harry staring at me in horror, they had just witnessed a vampire conversion.

But where was Victoria? I voiced my question " where is Victoria?" oh my, my voice was beautiful, it sounded like bells and mother of pearl, my voice scared me, but I liked it. I was so caught up about how my voice sounded when I realised that they hadn't answered me I got up off the floor, untied them and took off the tape of their mouth's then they answered "She left."

"sh-she left?" I asked confused. I was too preoccupied by this fact that I barely noticed how everything looked, felt , sounded and smelt to me now.

As I thought of smell I finally noticed how Charlie smelt, it was like fish, pine and clear air, in other words his blood was mouthwatering, all of my instincts told me to attack now while I had the chance! Then I caught a whiff of the Harry and Billy, that's when I came back down to Earth I had never in all my years smelt anything so outrightly disgusting!

"Yuck!" I whined but it sounded like music.

"What is it?" Charlie asked me concerned.

"They smell like the worst things in the world!" I screeched.

Then I saw Charlie's face and he was afraid of me.

"Hmpf." Billy replied.

"I have to leave, no I'm going to leave,I won't risk his life…. Bye." I told them. I wished I didn't have to leave them but I did. Then I ran and I ran and I ran as fast as I could and as far as I could away from all human civilisation. Later than night I found myself in a deserted part of Canada, I vowed to myself I would stay here until I had my thirst under control, I would hunt animals and I would never intentionally hurt a human in any way shape or form.

I would be good. Good enough to see Charlie and Renee agian.


End file.
